One Year

A year has gone by, and all I can say is... I still miss you little man. You are and will always be my very best friend.

This is the song that has been playing in my head all day...

I Still Miss You
by Keith Anderson

I've changed the presets in my truck
so those old songs don't sneak up
they still find me and remind me
yeah you come back that easy
try restaurants I've never been to
order new things off the menu
that I never tried cause you didn't like
two drinks in you were by my side

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don't know how to do this

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I still miss you
I still miss you...... yeah.... yeah.....

More Verses to a Special Song

At Benjamin's funeral we sang I am a Child of God. That song will always have such a special place in my heart and always remind me of my blessed child. Today while I was reading a friends blog I found a link to another mom whose daughter just returned Home and I was so touched by these additional lyrics I had to post them.

I am a child of God and He has called me home.
My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay.
You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure.
I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.Help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open armsOne bright Celestial day.

--Donna Kulliard

A Special Song

While on my misssion in Florida I had some talented sister missionaries that I served with, one was my trainer Sister Garrett. At the time she shared with me songs she had composed and recorded and I was in awe by the beautiful music with such touching lyrics. Recently I was thinking about these songs when I remembered one that touched my heart. The lyrics just really echo thoughts and feeling Richard and I have talked about a lot so I thought I would share them....

Heaven

Composed by Erin (Garrett) Hatch

You used to be near to me, I wonder how you're doing for now you're home in heaven.
So many things you gave me, but most of all you're memory is burned in me forever.
What is it like to be surrounded by so many loving faces you've nit seen for sometime?
No doubt you are progressing to higher grounds where you'll be found in God's kingdom.
So when I hear a child sing and feel the peace surround me that must be like home in heaven.

Chorus:
That is the key to where you'll be awaiting me in heaven, in heaven, I'll find you there in heaven.

When sunbeams fall from the sky and find me to dry my eyes
I'll remember you in heaven.
For God would not want me to spend all my life missing you
for soon we'll be together.
So let us rejoice on the friendship we have that
we established on this earth and its built to last.
Think happy thoughts on spending eternity with family and soon with me.
So put a smile on your face and I will do just the same for
I'll see you in heaven.

Chorus:
That is the key to where you'll be awaiting me in heaven, in heaven, I'll find you there in heaven.

I'll see you again in heaven.

When Daddy Comes Home

There were many times when it got close for me to come home from work and Erin would call me and have Ben talk to me. Ben would always tell me that he could see me. "I see you" he would say and I would respond "no way, I'm not even close to the house," but he would still say "I see you". That was really fun to talk to him on the phone like that and to see that he was excited for me to come home.

Dude...

One of my favorite memories is when Benjamin came home from being at the Alexanders home and he came up to me and put his hand in the air balled into a fist and said "Dude." It was so cute to see that he had learned to do the Rock. Whenever we would meet people Ben would always say Dude and would put up his hand. So heres to you Ben, " DUDE."

On All Fours

Well I remember when I would get home from work and would play with Benjamin many times would he want to jump on my back like he was riding a horse. I miss this activity with him, he would get the gigles and we would just have the greatest time trying to balance on my back so he wouldnt fall off.

A Daisy

I was reading a blog from a lady whose daughter returned to heaven this summer. On it she was talking about how for each of her children she has found a flower that symbolizes them. Her dauther Camille, is her tulip

I turned around and asked myself what flower reminds me of Ben and instantly I knew the answer....


When I think of Daisies I think of how their simple beauty brighten up the world and bring joy to all who see them. Tonight I took it a step further and looked up the symbolism and it was just too perfect...innocence, youth, gentleness.

Yes, our Benjamin is a daisy.